So it has been about 8 days of being back on the ice. I feel like i completely have sunk into my normal usual self! That being the overtalkative, always happy and totally satisfied person that i would like to think that i have become! Not as if i ever was not that person before but down here i feel like i truly am seen through a pure set of eyes, i.e. no pre-conceived ideas about me. We all want to erase that self that seems to trail us forever. I have always been proud of who i have been throughout my life but it is that self that people seem to have this idea of who you are through those experiences you had with them and especially those self-conceived ideas that our personal culture places upon our psyche! I dont know all i feel is that too many times that i put this pressure as we all do upon my idea of who i am and what i have become, i guess it is that human nature part of what we create within ourselves. All said i do have this sense that every person here is really appreciating what i have to offer as a person and a friend and maybe one day as a lover! After my magical experience in Thailand with Katy I see the part of myself that i want to be in the forefront at all times, that self that see's the power, grace, charm, humility, passion and joy in life, others and of course most importantly myself! This is not to say that i was void of this before but she reminded me that it I need to make sure that is there all the time and that i want to always make sure that my happiness stays in a forward motion. That being said, we all know that we will have times of unhappiness and moments of despair that is when it is most important to remember these ideals.
Enough of the rant, so the basic idea of season so far is COLD,COLD,COLD, and EAT, EAT, EAT that is it. I have been feeling like a Hummer, i get nine miles to the stride. I eat so much food and then burn soooooo much more it is crazy. Last season I ate food cause I could, ya know the Turer way, now this year it is I have to eat to keep up with the cold and the burn o' calorie. I have just finished most of my training and it's full tilt boogie. I'll tell ya I love driving the big yellow tractors and to top it off I get to talk on the radio I'm the veritable Snowman talkin to the Bandit, of course we can't say" Breaker, breaker this is the Snowman what's your ten twenty", well that's fine with me cause just having the opportunity to do this in the first place is good enough for me!
Funny thing, I just took a break from this writing and went to watch a wonderful "local" blues man Toofless Sean, great guy and awesome blues guitarist, at the local smoking bar,yuck, but nonetheless it was a great show! However, I had my first taste of what the McMurdo bad side can be, I spoke with a friend earlier today about a young lady that is with us here and was inquiring about his intentions that could or could not be intimately based, simple questions, but I myself have grown fond of her. He had responded with vague answers and no straight shots. So I just figured that life would proceed and I would discover what they were in the somewhat near future. Later, when I went to the Toofless show I was questioned by the woman in question, she apparantly had learned about my questions to this "friend" and she made me feel kinda like a jerk for even asking them in the first place! I know that this is something I should not feel, I believed that I was speaking to him in confidence, I guess not! It goes to show that high can always be re-lived! That is aspect of this place that I wonder about. Why is it that when a man or woman for that matter is inquring to someone that they believe is in confidence that turns out to be not so true! Really in the end that is everywhere so it is not as if this place is unique in that sense I guess it just seems that everything here is highly sensitized, sometimes over sensitized.
So this is the end of my first big blog, I feel that I could keep writing and writing but I need to finish my wash and go to bed. On a happy note I just found out that the Daily Show and the Colbert Report is now shown down here, which is quite odd since both of these programs make a mockery of the very institiutions that are providing the programming, fine by me! Till the next time Ciao!